The light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.

The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn, screaming in frustration, as she missed her chance to get through the intersection, dropping her cell phone and makeup.

As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to the police station where she was searched, fingerprinted, photographed, and placed in a holding cell.

After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.

He said, “I’m very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the ‘What Would Jesus Do’ bumper sticker, the ‘Choose Life’ license plate holder, the ‘Follow Me to Sunday-School’ bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk, so naturally. I assumed you had stolen the car.”

Priceless

Well, I have been back at work for a few weeks and this has been the biggest reason as to why I have been negligent to tumblr…I am really trying/focusing on being a better teacher this year!  It seems kinda stupid to say (write) out loud, but I really feel like I could be better at my job and am really going to try to do what I can to get there this year!

Anyways, I was grading papers today and one student wrote an answer that I thought was funny enough to share.

I was going through my kids’ New England States Test today and found this as one of the answers:

New Hamster

Now, I consider myself quite the traveler and know the 50 states pretty well, and have never come across the great state of New Hamster!  I guess I will have to google that! ;)

With all the Charlie Sheen drama all over everything, it’s not a wonder the kids at school know what’s going on.

Today a fellow teacher told me a joke that a 6th grader told her. Here it is…

How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do?

Enough to kill Two and a Half Men!

On a homework assignment the other night, my students had to write 3 questions that they would ask Mary (as in Mary, the mother of Jesus) as well as the answer that they think Mary would give.  Here is one of the questions:

How do you stay fit?

and they thought that Mary would answer with:

I exercise.

As far as I know, this is not a usual line of questioning that the Virgin Mother would be used to!

Dear Ricky, 

I thought that you were absolutely hilarious last night.  Award shows tend to get boring, but not last night!  Despite what the critics and the HFPA have to say about your job as host, I think you were great!  I anxiously awaited the next time you would appear onstage with some witty and biting intro!  You made the show and I would definitely love to see you back again! Job well done Gervais!

Love, 

Lindsey

I saw a man in Starbucks this morning that was winding the tape back into his cassette tape with a pen.  What made this nice man even better was that he was wearing 80’s style Hammer-pants.  I think he may have forgotten what year it was!

“Merry Swiftmas” by Evan Taubenfeld

I heard this song on my way to work and it is hilarious!  For all you Taylor Swift fans, you should definitely enjoy this!  I hope this brightens you day…it definitely made me smile on this Friday morning! 

Have a great end to your week and a fabulous start to your weekend!